Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex?
They're called "Predickamints".
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Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain.
One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette.
The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea.
What's that called?'
The lady responded, 'It's a condom.'
The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?'
She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.'
So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.'
The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?'
The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?"
The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax."
"TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
An evening of Valentine's Day.
A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!"
"Sorry, we are sold out..."
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New generic drug replacement for Viagra – it's called Mycoxaflopin.
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs.
Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder.
They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?"
"Heroin"
"But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange."
"This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom.
I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
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I bought these shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!
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Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
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