Joke #9781

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."

The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.

One evening a old man is traveling at 70mph in a 30mh zone a little further down the road. A police car pulls him over and tells him "I've been following you for 5 minutes and you kept accelerating." The police officer says to the speeder "I finish my shift in 2 minutes. If you can give me an excuse I haven't heard before I will let you go as it will save me any paper work." The speeder replies "My wife ran away with a police officer 3 years ago, I thought you were bringing her back." The police officer returns to his patrol car and drives a way.

While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened? She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"

When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.