Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp... He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.