Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...
He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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