Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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Stars wish upon Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
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The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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All men are born equal.
Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
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