Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
Chuck Norris can land a multi-hit combo with only one punch.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.