What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
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Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."
The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
He had him newt-ered.
How do rabbits get to work?
By rabbit transit.