Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator. He walked away with a new set of luggage.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life. There can be only one.