What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare.
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.