Joke #9944

In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.

An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".

Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.

What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.

Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.

Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.

Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!

What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.

An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!" His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"

A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?