Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.