What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Filet delay.
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Q: What do you call a naked deer?
A: Buck naked!
What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab.
They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.