Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.