What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
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What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead?
Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum.
Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal.
Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it.
They take it into the car and continue down the road.
The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do?
He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch.
Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down."
She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that!
That thing is smelly and nasty!"
The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Two flies sit on a pile of poop.
One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to.
They landed in each other.
Who was wrong?
The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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