What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
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How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.
How should you treat a baby goat?
Like a kid.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy.
They see two dogs going at it.
The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?"
The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy."
That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama!
The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?"
He says "Oh, were making it a baby."
The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"