What does a man call true love?
An erection.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman.
Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?
A: A widower.
Why do men want to vote for a female President?
Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said...
'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.