Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
There are 5 birds in a tree.
A hunter shoots 2 of them dead.
How many birds are left?
2 birds.
The other 3 fly away!
A woman went shopping.
She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
"You're single, aren't you?"
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
"That's right, but how did you guessed that?"
"Because you're so ugly."
Why can't single women fart?
They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
How are men like diplomas?
You spend lots of time getting one, but once you
have it, you don't know what to do with it.
What's the difference between a man and an ox?
Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.