The best jokes about women

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Vote:
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: sport, women
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
Vote:
has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, women
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Vote:
has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: time, wife, women
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
Vote:
has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: women
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Vote:
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: funeral, lawyer, women
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote:
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Vote:
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: women
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Vote:
has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. "Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100." Surprised she asks why the price difference? "Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"
Vote:
has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: women
<<<39404142
More jokes →
Page 39 of 65.