When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.” The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position. Confused, the boy asked what were they doing. The dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionanle little boy, “Well, son, we are making you a little brother.” The little boy replied ,”Please turn Mom over, Dad, I’d rather have a puppy!”
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child? A: Caps and robbers
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.” To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids. "Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one. "I am" said the second. "No," the father said "their mother is!"
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old