The best kids jokes

Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie? They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, priest, kids
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Vote: has 62.44 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, bird, kids
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad, lawyer
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, Santa, car
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, food, sport, gym
Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, age
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
Vote: has 62.04 % from 428 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, catholic, marriage, kids, husband
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote: has 61.93 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, black people, white people, kids, party
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
Vote: has 61.43 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kids, weed, dad, fart