The best kids jokes

Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kids, weed, dad, fart
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kids, weed, dad, fart
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I’m here for a urine test."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, doctor
Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, fat, kids, school
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 60.84 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, kids
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
Vote: has 60.66 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, kids, drug, age
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, church, catholic, disgusting
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, kitty, cat, money
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, work, kids, catholic