The best kids jokes

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
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has 55.65 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: kids, women
Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it. So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep. The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake. "Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?" William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!" And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary." Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question. "Who died on the cross for our sins?" William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Christ!" Once again, she goes back to sleep. This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" William pokes her again. Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: god, kids, school, teacher
One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, kids, wife
A man and his son went into a store. The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag." The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
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has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dad, ethnic, kids, stupid
Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: kids
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, money
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. "Oh, den I uses the last names."
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has 55.04 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids, office
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
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has 54.83 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: fish, kids, music
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
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has 54.81 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: kids, military, racist
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