The best kids jokes

A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, school
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she gave your kids a "Yo' Grandmama Is So Stupid" joke book.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, kids, insulting
What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, baby
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, kids
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, car, kids
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
Vote: has 53.89 % from 159 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, husband, sex, kids
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Vote: has 53.78 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: navy, computer, technology, kids, time
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, money, baby
An old mountaineer and his young ex-wife were fighting over custody of their children. The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them. The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story. After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
Vote: has 52.77 % from 198 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, kids
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: has 52.48 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, prison, kids