The best kids jokes

There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
Vote: has 52.05 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, travel, airplane, mexican, kids
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 51.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, kids, sex, phone
What has ten letters and starts with gas? An automobile.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
Vote: has 50.22 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
Vote: has 49.94 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, work, kids, money, game
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
Vote: has 49.94 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, work, kids, money, game
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids, jewish
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, age, kids, celebrity
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the nursery? They woke up.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
"Where did you born?" "At the hospital!" "Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, hospital