When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.
"Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder."
The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra?
A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...
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Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
Yo Momma so ugly she makes blind children cry.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!