The best kids jokes

During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 50.97 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids, school
How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. CHING CHANG CHONG TING.
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has 50.75 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: kids, racist
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids, political, teacher
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
One day a mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: kids
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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has 50.17 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, Fathers day, kids, sex
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
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has 50.15 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
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