The best kids jokes

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
Vote: has 36.64 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, military
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Our baby looks just like me. But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, age, kids, dad
A math teacher asks a pupil, what are 3, 5, 7 and 11? The pupil thinks for a moment and then replies, "On 3 there is cartoon network, on 5 we have cartoon network, on 7 dad checks out news-bulletin and the channel that comes by pressing 11 on the remote is FTV, which my brother watches late at night."
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, math, technology
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, wife, drunk, kids, car