Our baby looks just like me. But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
He’s been hitting the bottle for years. He’ll be two tomorrow.
How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.