The best kids jokes

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
Vote: has 77.53 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, kids
There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids. So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad. His dad beats the crud outta him. He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!" He gets beat by his mom too. Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white! She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room. Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?" And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"
Vote: has 77.52 % from 302 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, kids, school, teacher, white people
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, kids, ugly
There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them "who is the most obedient?" Five sets of eyes looked up at him. Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?" One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.
Vote: has 77.23 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad, kids
There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them "who is the most obedient?" Five sets of eyes looked up at him. Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?" One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.
Vote: has 77.23 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad, kids
Man: "How old is your father?" Boy: "As old as me." Man: "How can that be?" Boy: "He became a father only when I was born."
Vote: has 77.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad, age
Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
Vote: has 77.15 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, wife, car, baby
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote: has 76.99 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Christmas, Santa, kids
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Vote: has 76.66 % from 554 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids