The best lawyer jokes

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honour.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers: "What is this?" The first lawyer replies: "It's the $100 I owe you."
Vote:
has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!" "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" "No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!" Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them." "But I did send them.", replied the man. "What?" shouted the lawyer. "I sure did, that's how we won the case... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A junior partner in a law firm is sent to represent a client accused of murder. After a long trial, the case is won and the client acquitted. The young lawyer telegraphs his firm with the message, ‘Justice prevailed’. The senior partner telegraphs back, ‘Appeal immediately’.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
<<<20212223
More jokes →
Page 20 of 34.