A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine? Only one if you run him through slowly!
How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them.
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall? A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.