The best lawyer jokes

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: duck, lawyer
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, lawyer
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: bar, lawyer
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, love, Valentines day
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