The best lawyer jokes

A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer’.” “But that won’t let people know who it is!” protested the lawyer. “Sure it will,” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, “That’s impossible!”
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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident? The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.
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What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
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A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
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