The best jokes about life

Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, drug
Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things. Doctor: Since when did you have these problems? Patient: What problems?
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Mom can i buy some heels? No. Mom can i buy a bra? No. Mom can i buy a dress? No. Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No. You never let me buy anything! Shut up, Justin.
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don’t see why not," replies the doctor. "That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, doctor, hospital, music
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
Vote: has 78.01 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church. He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?" "Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!" "Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!" And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
Vote: has 77.99 % from 491 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, priest, church, age, life
The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, political
Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, hospital, tax, life
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, life
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life