The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit. Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen. "That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? U stop imagining...
Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ? Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.
Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.