The best jokes about life

Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why? Because the sign says - no tres passing.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, mexican
A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency? He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, political
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sport, technology
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, car, doctor
Paddy got a job as a road line-painter. He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day. "You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss. "That is because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, health, drug
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, animal
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life