The best jokes about life

Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
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More jokes about: life, doctor, health
What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
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I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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More jokes about: life, music, celebrity, animal
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
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More jokes about: life, science, work
Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
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More jokes about: dirty, doctor, sex, life, food
A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car. "That is amazing" the employee was fascinated. "That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".
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So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
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More jokes about: life, sex
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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More jokes about: life, age, old people, viagra, sex
Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
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More jokes about: life