The best jokes about life

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, death
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, death, music
The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life. There can be only one.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Q: What's in the wardrobe? A: Narnia business.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, business
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, black people, women, car
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, life, hospital, car, death
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, health, doctor
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, doctor, food