Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives.... "I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.." "Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?" "New York City..."
I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town. What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts!
What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!
Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
How many French men does it take to defend the city of Paris? Don't know...its never been done.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...