The best jokes about life

If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
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More jokes about: life
3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hall and say, "F**k you!"
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More jokes about: life, sex, marriage
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
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More jokes about: life
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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More jokes about: IT, life, car
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
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More jokes about: life, work, money
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
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More jokes about: life, funeral
Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
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More jokes about: life, religious, political
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss. The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?" The man says "I'm probably too honest." The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality." The man replies, "I don't give a shttp://unijokes.com/admin/h*t what you think!"
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More jokes about: life, work
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
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More jokes about: life, Thanksgiving, music, celebrity
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
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More jokes about: life, work