Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
Do you know the joke of "no me neither"? No. Me neither.
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team? Because she keeps running away from the ball.
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
Too stupid to understand science? Try religion!
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.