The best jokes about life

You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?" Doctor: "Fifty rupees." Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?" Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly." Patient: "How much is for the operation?" Doctor: "Rupees on thousand." Patient: "But it was a serious one." Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, doctor, money
Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time, life, bar, wife
Are you free on Sunday? The director asks his secretary. Yes, sir. Then, please, use this day to rest a bit, so you won’t be late at work on Monday.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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The fastest dialog in the world: (WC door is opening) Man inside: Heyyy! Man outside: Sorryyy!
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
Vote: has 40.39 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life