The best jokes about life

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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More jokes about: life, political, work, genie, money
Why did the Viking buy an old boat? Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
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More jokes about: life
What difference is between a man and Paris? The Paris remains Paris!
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More jokes about: life
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
Vote: has 20.91 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, life, husband, wife
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
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More jokes about: alcohol, music, life, drug
A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port of France, and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places. Oui monsieur; what is the destination port for this load? I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil. Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal? Why is that sir? If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese; of course!
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More jokes about: life
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Vote: has 15.20 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, baby, dead baby, life, sex
Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
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More jokes about: life
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Vote: has 14.50 % from 12975 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, fart, music, food
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life