Why did the Viking buy an old boat? Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
What difference is between a man and Paris? The Paris remains Paris!
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port of France, and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places. Oui monsieur; what is the destination port for this load? I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil. Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal? Why is that sir? If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese; of course!
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Our folk not only knows how to read between the lines but also how to leave a record between the eyes.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.