The best marriage jokes

Wife complains husband, "When I'm crossing the dark forest when I'm comming back home I'm scared that someone will rape me." "Don't worry" answers husband, "you wouldn't be so lucky..."
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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A wife to her husband: "Honey, what are you doing?" "I'm reading our marriage certificate." "What for?" "I'm looking for the expiry date..."
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Wife to husband: ‘One more word and I’m going straight back to mother!’ Husband: ‘Taxi!!’
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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What kind of rings do men need for marriage? Engagement Ring Wedding Ring Suffe-Ring Endu-Ring
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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"I'd like to seek divorce. My wife hasn't spoken with me more than half year." "Are you stupid? It's a dream of every man."
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, marriage, wife
Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, marriage, wife
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, women, age
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage