The best marriage jokes

Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him." Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
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More jokes about: marriage, husband, food
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore: marriage is an institution for the blind.
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More jokes about: marriage
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Priest said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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More jokes about: marriage, wedding, women, priest
I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.
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More jokes about: marriage, work
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
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More jokes about: marriage, women
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. "I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife ...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand ! Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..." So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !
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More jokes about: marriage, age, genie, wife, husband
A wife wanted an expensive fur coat from the executive husband to celebrate their Silver wedding anniversary. The miser overbearing rich husband rejected the expensive but affordable demand. He said, "You grow the hair on your chest and I will give you fur coat to cover it." The wife was out of control with anger. She pulls up her skirt, drops and throws her panties and pushes her hairy pubic area forward. She said, "There! I have the hair on my chest, now buy me that damn coat!" "That’s not your chest, that is your pussy!" husband screamed back. "Oh yes that is my chest all right" she yelled back. "While we were dating this was your chest of hope. We got married and on our honeymoon you used to tease me it was your chest of pleasure. Then I started bearing children and it became your chest of family, and damn it. If you don’t buy me that fur coat, it is going to be the community chest of public."
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, wife, husband, wedding, anniversary
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
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More jokes about: marriage, wife, love
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes." ...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."
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More jokes about: marriage
My wife is temperamental. Fifty per cent temper and 50 per cent mental.
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More jokes about: marriage