The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?