The best marriage jokes

What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then they marry him.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
They are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Always talk to your wife when you’re making love – assuming there’s a phone handy.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
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has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.” “Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, old people
A drunk phones the police to report that thieves have been in his car. ‘They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,’ he cries out… ‘Oh hang on. I’m in the back seat.’
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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