The best marriage jokes

Husband: I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I've never been before. Wife: Well, how about the kitchen?
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
He never got married. He said he didn’t want to make the same mistake once.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I live like a medieval knight. Every night I go to sleep with a battleaxe at my side.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Wife to husband: ‘You certainly made a fool of yourself last night. I just hope nobody realised you were sober.’
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
‘Why don’t you go home to your wife. Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife and, outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference.’ Groucho Marx
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
A newlywed couple goes on their honeymoon. Two days into the weeklong trip, the wife goes to the front desk and demands a car to take her to the airport. A few hours later, the husband strolls past the front desk. The manager asks why his wife has left the island. "Were you not having a good time?" The man replies, "Well, I've been having the best time of my life, but it's been with the maid."
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has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My husband added some spice to our marriage. He's left home.
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has 35.12 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage
He was in a position to marry anyone he pleased. Unfortunately he didn’t please anyone.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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