# The best math jokes

Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you \$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
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More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
Johnny, if you had 5\$ and you asked your father for 3\$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
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More jokes about: money, little Johnny, math
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
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More jokes about: school, teacher, math
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
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The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, math, time, time
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
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