Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can’t sit down! An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That’s not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!