The best jokes about men

A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant. "The ball type?" asked the clerk. "No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
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A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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More jokes about: men, doctor, food, time
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
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Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains.
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Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
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More jokes about: men, love
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
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Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
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Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
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More jokes about: men, relationship
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, pirate, death, war
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, desert island, dog, food, beauty