The best jokes about men

Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, men, customer service
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!" She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman." He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, women, mean, men
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, men, money, medical, sex
There once was a fellow from Kent Who had such a long instrument. To stay out of trouble He folded it double. And instead of coming he went.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..." "Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..." "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." "Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom." "Why, honey?" "Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
Vote: has 68.77 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men