The best jokes about men

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, blonde, computer, stupid
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, women, men, golf, winter
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me." A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, doctor
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, fat, women, marriage
What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, life
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, animal, doctor, cop
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, husband, wife