An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. "Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
What does a man call true love? An erection.