The best jokes about men

Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, stupid
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, food, chocolate, sex
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 220 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, men
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
Vote: has 49.86 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
Vote: has 49.86 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, cop, love
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, stupid
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, dating
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Vote: has 47.97 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, men